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Is It Okay to be Wrong?


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My weekly blog was working like clockwork from mid-April into early September. I had a rhythm to my writing, editing, and publishing. I looked forward to the challenge; yet I never addressed the little nagging voice in the background that kept saying, “You need to write one or two ahead so if you travel there will be something ready to publish.” This became a self-fulfilling prophecy, even though I returned the day before my “writing day,” because that day was filled with urgent home repairs. The week ended and no blog got written. Dang! Well, I only missed one, so next week for sure! Except then I had plumbing troubles – more housework issues messing with my schedule. I missed another one. Double dang!

I considered switching to a monthly blog; that might be often enough anyway, because there is so much going on in the virtual world. But what week of the month should I publish? What shall I write about when I announce the change? And the questions and delays continue while the writing does not. What is the answer?

The answer is to embrace my humanity, recognize that life is messy and timelines often are written in the sand. My options are: 1) beat up on myself for not sticking to my schedule – like a real pro, which I must not be (sadness & shame); or 2) pick up where I left off and move ahead for the joy of the process.

Before my training with the Fearless Living Institute, I would have gone with option 1. At that time, some of my favorite exercises were jumping to conclusions and passing judgement. Now I understand that being prone to judging others has the side-effect of making me extremely harsh on myself. I can see that yelling at myself, even in my head, is as disempowering and unmotivating as being yelled at by others. It does not make me feel cooperative or inspired to try harder.

The inner child still wants to be encouraged and given credit for effort already made rather than relentlessly being pushed to do more and greater works. When I can whole-heartedly recognize what I have done, then I am encouraged to continue moving on the wings of that praise and appreciation.

Today I am back and also changing the schedule. I will no longer write a weekly blog, it will now be monthly and it will come out the second Thursday of the month. I am here to say I started something more ambitious than I could maintain – especially because there are other things I want to do to help share the message of Fearless Living™. I have a vision of a video series about my experience in Rhonda Britten’s* Change Your Life™ class. I want to finish every online class Rhonda offers so I am qualified to coach others thru them (I’m almost half done with this project, I can finish in 2018 if I choose to do so). And I want to get another couple book groups going – an in-person one here in Middletown, and a phone group open to anyone anywhere. I have workshops to offer and talks to give. There is much to do so I am willing to practice giving myself credit for effort expended and renegotiate when I get myself overextended. The second part of that Intention is the willingness to be okay admitting when I am wrong, which is new territory for me.

Please understand that I said I am willing to practice being okay admitting when I am wrong. I am not saying I’ve never been wrong, because I certainly have been, many, many times. The shift is in being willing to admit it and give up the pretense of perfectionism. When I am afraid to admit to being wrong – even to myself – I am robbed of the opportunity to learn from an experience just because it may not have gone as I wished. I miss the silver linings and blessing hidden in these experiences. I want to be the kind of person who sees these blessings for myself and others.

How about you? Are you okay with admitting when things didn’t go as planned? Are you able to mine all experiences for the silver linings and blessings? If not, would you like help learning to do so? I can help.

*Rhonda Britten is the founder of the Fearless Living Institute (www.FearlessLiving.org), author of 4 books, TV star and Emmy winner.