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How Do You Deal with a Real Jerk?

The same way you would deal with someone you admire and respect. Period. I could stop here.

This is not at all how I started this blog. The first draft started by defining a real jerk.

Then I watched this week’s episode of Marie TV and saw Marie Foleo’s latest interview with Brene` Brown.

Again, I am brought to my knees by the simplicity of constructive human interaction and how hard it can be to break old patterns of fearful, derogatory, defensive behavior. Personally, I have my Fearless Living* training to thank for the basis of what I choose now, and still there are so many times when it is hard to stop myself from getting caught up in the web of blame and wanting to see someone brought down because I dislike their actions.

There is a quote from Mary Baker Eddy in her book, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, that I often go to when feeling particularly justified in condemning the behavior of another that reads in part, “. . . let human justice pattern the divine.”** How willing am I to let “. . . human justice pattern the divine”? This is when I really have to step out of my desire to serve God as an adviser and be willing to trust that there is more going on than I can possibly know. Am I willing to trust in the inherent innocence of each and every person I encounter or hear about? Am I truly willing to embrace fully the concept that we are all innocent – and by that I mean doing the best we know in that moment? After all, few people, if anyone, start their day by saying, “How can I best screw up this day for myself and anyone I encounter?” However misguided we may be in that moment, we wouldn’t behave badly if we were confident.

So, I love what Brene` Brown had to say about re-humanizing each other. We also have instruction from Martin Luther King,

“The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate.... Returning violence for violence multiples violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”***

Today I am willing to practice cherishing innocence in myself and all others. I am willing to practice. I am willing to fail and try again anyway. I am willing. I want to be a force for good in my heart, in my family, and in my community. After all, that is why I became a Certified Fearless Living Coach.

* Fearless Living Institute,

** Page 542, lines 19-21, “Let Truth uncover and destroy error in God’s own way, and let human justice pattern the divine.” Eddy, Mary Baker (1934) Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, Boston, MA, USA, Christian Science Board of Directors, Christian Science Publishing Society.

*** King, Martin Luther, Lovearth Network, (accessed September 13, 2017)