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Do You Trust Yourself?


What do you do when you are working on something and you hit an obstacle that you don’t know how to resolve right away? Do you beat yourself up for not having anticipated this? Do you panic that you won’t be able to finish either on time or on your own as planned? Or are you able to step back and say, “I know there’s an answer to this, what is it I need to see?”

Recently I was trying to remove carpeting from a relatively small room. Due to the size of the room, I thought it wouldn’t be that hard to just roll up the carpet and push it out a window, however it ended up being more of a challenge than anticipated due to some electrical outlet boxes that had been installed on top of the base boards, rather than set into the wall (they had been added after the house was built and the plaster & lathe walls were hard to get into, so this option was chosen to reduce the mess). At first, I could feel myself getting frustrated because I was home alone & just wanted to finish the job. Then I recognized the frustration as a symptom of fear (see Fearless Living by Rhonda Britten), and chose to remind myself that there was a solution and I could find it if I could relax into being open to a new perspective on the task. So, I sat down, looked at the room and the rug, and asked, “what do I need to see differently? I know there is an answer and I am willing to be open to new ideas.” Very soon it came to me to roll the edges of one side of the carpet up in front of the outlets to relieve the pressure squeezing the rug so it wouldn’t slide along the floor. Once I did that, I was able to roll the rug to one end of the room and soon the roll was out the window and on its way to the alley.

Before Fearless Living training, I would have just gotten frustrated and tried to pull harder and beat up on myself for always starting things on my own that I need help doing so that I just don’t get to finish. The frustration would mount and I would often end up in tears with an incomplete project and a battered self-image.

Learning to trust myself was a gradual process. I had to learn give myself room not to know it all before I started something. I learned that I could choose how I respond to surprises and obstacles. Much of this has been the result of my Fearless Living training. I found the specifics of the language of Fearless Living to be helpful. I needed to learn what fear really is, how pervasive it is, how many disguises it has – things like perfectionism, procrastination, self-condemnation – and what actions I could choose to stop fear from taking over once I see it trying to do so. I also learned how important it is to have support and the value of asking for help – which, for me, also had to do with trusting myself.

If you would like to trust yourself more, you might find the tools and techniques of Fearless Living helpful, too. Call a Certified Fearless Living Coach. Most offer a free exploratory session so you can determine if this might be a good fit before you commit. Trusting that it’s ok to seek this kind of help might be a good indication that you trust yourself enough to want to be more true to yourself.