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Why Compare Apples to Oranges?


Good question, in fact why compare at all? When shopping it can be quite helpful, but when we do it with people it is often a bad idea. Think about it, when was the last time you compared yourself to someone else? Did you come out ahead? Or did it just reinforce all the ways you wish something about you was different? Even if you felt you compared favorably to the other person, did the process of comparing yourself really make you feel better?

For me, comparison is a double-edged sword and both sides make me feel bad. Either I make myself feel bad because I don’t measure up to someone else, or I feel bad for being so unkind about someone else without knowing their side of the story.

How do I stop the comparison cycle that sneaks so smoothly into my head? Intention Statements as taught by Rhonda Britten* in her Fearless Living™ programs help me stop the comparison stories. Rhonda teaches that Intention Statements are about how I want to be present and they focus on process rather than result. When it comes to comparison, reminding myself of my Intention Statement is the quickest way to bring me back to process and stop the comparison stories – which are all results focused.

Not that we don’t need good results, we do; however, I get better results when I focus on process because that keeps me in the present moment. If there is a challenge along the way, focusing on process keeps my thoughts open and I am more likely to see solutions. When I focus on results, little bumps along the way can throw me into a panic which basically blocks my ability to think at all.

So what about you? When do you compare? How does it make you feel? Does it motivate and empower you? Or does it leave you feeling unmotivated and second rate? Are you ready to stop the comparison cycle in your head? Join a Fearless Living Book Group, seek out private coaching, or enroll in a Fearless Living Workshop. You might be surprised at your ability to take control of your thoughts, how that will make you a better friend to yourself, which in turn will make you a better friend to others. All we need is someone to show us how and cheer us on. I can do that for you.

*www.fearlessliving.org