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Whose Life Am I Living

The answer seemed obvious, since I can truly only live my own life, until I asked, “Am I truly living the life I want? Am I waiting, wishing, hoping, or striving for something someone else has told me is what I want? or how I should be? or what I should have?”

Every decision we make or don’t make is the reality of our life. Everything we do is the result of a choice we have either made on purpose or perhaps attempted to avoid making – which ultimately, is still a choice. To help me figure out if I liked my life, I asked, “Am I comfortable with what I do and how I present myself? Am I being me and seeking common ground, or am I trying to fit in, thereby diminishing myself by trying to belong where I don’t really belong?” I was surprised to realize how much I had accepted the notion that who I was or what I felt was wrong. Had I put up a false front and denied my natural inclinations?

This led to a lot of confusion and conflict with myself and I very nearly lost the ability to trust myself or recognize intuitive hits when they came. My parents thought I was “too sensitive” and that the answer was to develop a thicker skin. No one knew how to help me deal with my feelings in a constructive way, so I did my best to ignore my feelings. That simply let things build up until I blew up. So I not only labeled myself as sensitive, but as bad tempered with a short fuse. Oddly enough, none of these labels helped me cope; they just made me feel wrong, not good enough, and powerless to do anything about my bad temper because I became convinced that was just how I was.

What finally helped? The tools I learned thru Fearless Living – in particular both Acknowledgements and Intention Statements. Acknowledgements are when I recognize myself for my effort - an eye-opening concept for me, having grown up thinking I only got credit (blame) if things went wrong because if it went well that was simply how it should be. What I found most amazing was that when I recognized my effort, I felt more encouraged to keep moving. Before, when I did nothing but beat up on myself for what remained to be done, I was often discouraged and overwhelmed – not at all motivated.

Intention statements are helpful to me because they are how I remind myself what is my responsibility – choosing my behavior and my responses – and what isn’t. I used to think if anyone was unhappy around me I had to make them feel better. Now I recognize that how others feel is up to them, not me, no matter what I do. Intention statements allow me to be much more patient with myself and others. Intention statements are an antidote to perfectionism – a futile pursuit if there ever was one.

Whose life am I living? It gets closer to a life I really want every day. Are you ready to take charge of your life? Schedule a free, no obligation exploratory call to see if the tools of Fearless Living might be just what you’ve been waiting for. What have you got to lose except some frustration?